Freemason Chibbs

Was around midnight when I left the lodge. I felt so scared. I’d gained so much weight and was fat and was getting older. I was used to being the youngest mason. I was starting to look old and grey like the rest of the freemasons.

I drove home.

At home in my apartment I tried not to eat junk food but gave in again. I ate some chips and had a soda and went to bed. Woke up feeling fatter. There’s just that feeling where you wake up feeling fat. You just wake up and know with certainty you got fatter overnight while you were sleeping. I don’t know how to explain it.

After a couple more rituals the next day I finally made the 33rd degree. It felt good but nothing like I’d imagined. I guess I don’t know what I expected. I worked really hard for this and I’m still proud but I don’t know, it’s like I thought that once I reached my goal everything would be magically OK but that’s obviously not really how life works.